Can you Sugar Coat a GoodBye?

I hate goodbyes … I don’t even like saying it to people I care about over the phone, telemarketers on the other hand should feel lucky if they heard me say “goodbye” just once. The word seems so final … THE END. In a sense I would much rather use foreign terms such as arrivederci, bon voyage, adios, hasta la vista, or even sayonara. I can’t really cheat and use Aloha because that means both hello and goodbye, that is like asking are coming or going.

Goodbye also seems like you are saying “good riddance” when most of the time the departure is felt with sorrow. You only really need to say goodbye when you know you will not be seeing ya later, why say goodbye if you know you will see them again. People tend to use the term goodbye very casually but for people with mental issues like mine it seems cruel because the word is like a final send off. I know there are times when I think about what a person means when they tell me goodbye, “do they want me to come back” or is this a way of them saying “stay away”?

Essentially the term was meant to bid good wishes when sending someone off and it comes from a form of “God be with you”. Still sounds final and doesn’t have that we hope to see you again kind of feel. The foolish ones of us who disapprove of the goodbye practice have generated many alternative means to bid fare well without making it someone’s last rights. We chose to say goodnight, see ya later, don’t be a stranger, see ya next time, or keep in touch and all of these makes us feel like we have a better chance of seeing who ever is leaving us.

Although we don’t like saying “goodbye” and do our best to avoid it, there are moments that we wish we could say goodbye or at least would have had the chance to, or even knew how to say “goodbye”. We all have some moments in our lives we wish we could rewind just enough so we could bid our farewells and goodbyes but now we only have the regret that we didn’t get the chance or when we had the opportunity all the words came out wrong. What is to say that if we were able to get a do over that we would be able to find the courage to say “goodbye” because from my experience it takes a strong person to utter these words to someone who actually matters to them.

What do you say to someone whom you know you will never see again? To those who you will never hold or share the rest of your life with? What words can express how much you wish they didn’t have to go and how can you describe the hole that is developing in your heart? When someone passes we wish we could have been able to say all sorts of things while they were able to hear us and we spend the rest of our lives telling them how much we miss them. Sometimes it harder when you must say goodbye to someone who you will never see again but is not leaving this worldly place. Those people will continue their lives without you and you can’t even tell their spirits that you still miss them, instead you just hope that maybe some day you will meet again when you know that someday is a very long time from now.

There seem to always be this long drawn out dramatic conversation that never seems to have a proper beginning or an easy ending. We struggle to try to say what it is we want to say and fight to find all the things we want them to know and in the end we spend way too much time trying to make the ending painless and just give a teary “goodbye”. There is no way to sugar coat any goodbye when you know these words may be the last spoken words you have. There is not enough sugar, artificial sweetener, substitute, or honey to make the act of saying “goodbye” better and less painful. The fact that such an act hurts you deep inside shows that you care, but even with that notion saying “goodbye” sucks and in a lot of cases is just unfair. There is nothing GOOD about goodbyes.

See Ya Later!!!