To sit or not to sit

The First Amendment of the United States provides that:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Recently, an American football player took a stand, or should I say refused to stand during the playing of national anthem. He did not want to “show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color” he wants to take a stand for those who have no voice and this is his given right that is protected by the Constitution. My question to you Mr. Football, is your cause greater than the chaos that your movement will create? Also, is your action greater than the reaction of that action? Finally, will your cause benefit from the stand you are taking? Continue reading



I haven’t really shared much this month, not that there isn’t much on my mind … actually, it is all the crap that is on my mind that is creating this … “writer’s block”.  I am desperately trying to sort through the clutter in my head and the more I clear out the more I reveal. There is a whole lot of changes taking place and I feel that these changes will be significant and a push towards the final moments. Yet there are pieces of me that are resistant and others that are quite reluctant to any changes or even modification. At times it feels like a standoff between my will power and my weaknesses. My will power repeats the chant “you got this, you can do it, keep pushing forward” while my weaknesses are so tempting it is as if you are dying of thirst and all you hear is the echoing of water dripping out of a leaky faucet. Continue reading


It was a Monday morning and this man came up to me and said he heard I was looking for a car. We met after I was done work and headed off into the mountains for roughly a hour’s drive. In this small drive by town we catch a side street that would normally be passed over because of the lack of general invitation, I was surprised it even had a street sign even though I didn’t notice it until after we turned on to the street. It was clear that these streets were laid out when cars were narrower and there wasn’t so much over growth. Yet it isn’t the streets that we are there for, it was what was on that narrow poorly designed street.

67 gto sketch

About a 3/4 of a mile down this street sat an abandoned house slowly being covered in vines and weed and eventually will be reclaimed by mother nature herself. The attraction to all the vegetation and how high up the house it went nearly made me overlook what it was we were searching for. My guide stated that it had been at least 7 years since he had seen this so he was uncertain to even if it was still there. For all he knew the earth could have taken it as it is trying to take that house. And the earth was trying because as we could make out where that driveway would have been had there not been a small forest beginning in its place was an object hidden in the tall grass and invasive vegetation. Continue reading

I’m waiting …

Hey?…I’m down here,…still waiting…just to let you know just in case you were wondering. I got your message, I really didn’t understand all of it, well most of it and to be honest with you I was a bit confused, … well,… I didn’t really know what it is you want me to do down here. Maybe I just read it wrong, or maybe you weren’t very clear in your expectations, … no, I must have misunderstood what it is you expected of me.

I know I have been down here a while, it feels like a lifetime really. I also know that I have been distracted and tempted by the very things you told me to watch out for. I hate that there are so many things that we can’t have let alone keep.  I have been sidetracked many times and I am sure the longer I am here the more often that will happen, you’re not the only one playing this game your know; I have to keep any eye out for what the others are doing because I really think they are playing unfair and they are out to get me so could you please hurry and either get me out of here or at least help me understand why I am still here. Continue reading

The Hike

I will admit that I am a fairly stubborn man, well maybe really stubborn at times. I also have pretty good endurance and a strong drive to move forward, maybe that is just my stubbornness making it difficult for me to quit. There are times such as these where I feel as if I am climbing a steep rugged trail and I am forcing myself not to stop and my drive is focusing on the summit. It feels as if there is something that has attached itself to me causing my burdens to be much heavier, and as I push forward more hijackers climb on adding to the already weighted load I have to carry. Something inside me will not let me quit and somewhere deep within I know I feel as if I will die trying regardless of the pain. Sometimes it feels as if with each successful step further more obstacles appear and the closer I feel to completing this task the harder and more painful these obstacles become. I feel as if I am charging through the dark spooky woods climbing up the mountain alone with a horde of trolls chasing me and climbing onto my back trying to stop me  while others are throwing down boulders from above.

At times I feel as if I am not strong enough. There are times that I feel I am not supposed to reach the end. There are times where I feel as if I am climbing this mountain all alone. At times I just want to give up. If you decide to take this hike with me there are only two things that will occur, you will either walk along side me and take on some of these damn trolls tearing at my back and maybe one us will make it to the top and help the other reach the end. Or you can hold on to me along with these other burdens and try to slow me down or think you can just ride up with me knowing that I will refuse to let myself quit regardless of the weight placed upon me. Support is encouraging, yet you cannot jump on my back and whisper encouragements in my ear. If you walk along side me don’t go off on your own direction or feel the competition is underway and the first one to the end wins and all others left behind are lost, grab my hand and we will see the goal together or you will just become another obstacle along the way.

This is a marathon hike we are on, this thing called life. We push forward through the debris with souls all around us either cheering us on or heckling us down. There are those who jump on your wagon, there are those who push past you never to look back. There are those who will reach out and pull you forward and those who will tear at you trying to pull you down. As much as I would like to envision this battle as an offensive line exploding together through the wall of opponents trying to hold them back, in reality it is more like a small child walking through a dark forest just wanting to be home. I am stubborn yet I am not strong enough, where do you stand in this struggle of mine? Are you going to just whisper kind words in my ear or will you lock on to my feet and hold me down? Will you be the one to take my hand and help pull me through or are you the one who will just pass me by? I am stubborn, I have to complete this task with or without you and as strong as I try to be, I am scared.