I’m waiting …

Hey?…I’m down here,…still waiting…just to let you know just in case you were wondering. I got your message, I really didn’t understand all of it, well most of it and to be honest with you I was a bit confused, … well,… I didn’t really know what it is you want me to do down here. Maybe I just read it wrong, or maybe you weren’t very clear in your expectations, … no, I must have misunderstood what it is you expected of me.

I know I have been down here a while, it feels like a lifetime really. I also know that I have been distracted and tempted by the very things you told me to watch out for. I hate that there are so many things that we can’t have let alone keep.  I have been sidetracked many times and I am sure the longer I am here the more often that will happen, you’re not the only one playing this game your know; I have to keep any eye out for what the others are doing because I really think they are playing unfair and they are out to get me so could you please hurry and either get me out of here or at least help me understand why I am still here.

I have gone to many places looking for some kind of explanation and everyone seems to have their own interpretation and opinion but none of those make sense, some really want me to follow their perspective even though I feel they are as lost as I am, some … well they’re really off base and certainly should just start over. I have been taught by many different people down here and I still can’t get the gist of it all. I have been taught how to read yet the words seem so far away from me. I have been taught to listen, but they keep talking in languages I can’t understand. I have cried, I have rejoiced, I have laughed, and I have feared, and most of all I have done all I could do to keep the faith.

I have watched those I loved be brought into this world as well as some who have left me behind. I have watched how greed and envy has corrupted the souls down here and how the poisons passed around by the others have destroyed lost souls and all those who cared for them. The poverty and hunger, the disease and sadness, and the deception and evils have made it difficult for many of us to see the beauty of this place. We spend such a short time here yet it feels as if the longer we are here the faster the days go by and I am scared that if I don’t figure this stuff out I will certainly run out of time.

I surely don’t mean to pester, nor do I want to seem ungrateful; I just would really like to do what I was sent here to do and do it the best I can. I want to understand my purpose and why I had to live through some of the things I had to down here. If you could, when you get a minute, will you consider sending me a better explanation in the plainest of languages possible? It doesn’t have to be charades or even stick figures just simple enough so that I can catch on to your reasoning. It is so difficult to decipher what it is that I want to do, what they want me to do, what the others are trying to make me do, and what you sent me here to do. I need to understand, I need to know, I need your help.

Hey! I’m still down here, and I am scared and confused. I have read, I have watched, I have led, and I have taught yet I feel that I have still failed. I am down here … still waiting, still searching, still wanting. I am not alone, there are others down here as well, I can’t see them all but I know they are here. I am ready when ever you are, please … please tell me what I have to do. Can you still hear me? Hey! I’m still here…

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