Treading Water

I was never a very good swimmer, I can do fine for the most part as long as I have a point to swim to and don’t stop or maybe just stay out of the deep end. I don’t have a complete fear of water, I don’t really like the idea that you can’t stand or walk on it but I don’t entirely fear it. I fear what is beneath it because I remember all the stories of the undertow and how the water will pull you out into the deep. Lets agree that water can be very soothing but it can also be extremely destructive if you underestimate it which is why it is best to know how to swim because you never know when you will be trying to escape the undertow.

I remember learning how to swim, or should I say being taught how to swim; needless to say I can’t forget it. I was young, maybe 5 or 6 years of age, and my father took me out into the water where it was waist-high for him; for me it was over my head and he had to carry me. That was the deepest water I had ever been in and I was terrified. The shore was along way from us and there was nothing but deeper water and whatever lurks beneath it behind us. My father never fully explained or gave me a choice to this bonding moment it was just “come with me” and me the child just went. Continue reading

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No Other way forward!

Yep! I’ve made my mind up and I’m going to do this; despite the growing opposing opinions and constant tricks and threats of the others. What are the others? It’s simple really; we spend a whole lot time during our lives searching for the good in people, the kindness, love, and compassion that might just make this world a little more livable and the reason we look so hard for these God-like qualities is because we are surrounded by all the crime, hatred, pain, sorrow, and darkness generated by the fallen and his minions. There are good, kind, and loving souls out there and then there are the others. It is the endless attacks of the others that pushed me to finding the right path. It is also the hatred of the others that tried to knock me off that path.  Continue reading

Time Released

To admit to the faults you have is beyond expression a huge step for many of us. Our bull-headed nature prevents us from being humble enough to see what it is that others actually see rather than what we think they see. Unfortunately, the longer it takes for us to realize what our shortcomings are; the harder it hits us when we finally come to terms with our denials. When we reach that point, the guilt from learning about how many people we hurt in our path of stupidity only multiplies the pain we have to hide.

Those of us who have learned to save face and bury our feelings started small and became masterful at keeping even our strongest motions from being seen. We hold every possible thing that just might reveal even the slightest chance of weakness and lock them deep within our soul. At first it is so much easier than exposing our tears then as time passes by our capacity begins to exceed its limits and our shortness with others begin to become more frequent. In our attempts to protect our pride, we have hurt those closest to us and by doing so we become disappointed with ourselves and now have to bury those feelings as well.  Continue reading

Shadow

We all have shadows and depending on the light that shines on us; some shadows are larger and darker than others. Depending on our path; these shadows can lead us, walk along side us, or follow us. Some of us are so used to these shadows that we act like that childhood story figure where the boy desperately seeks out his shadow and stitches it back to his heels. On the more than likely other hand; many of us are a bit frightened of the shadows we see.  Continue reading