On one of my trips to help with the cleanup efforts in the aftermath of both hurricane Florence and Michael during this year I travelled to a small town called Wallace. If it wasn’t for this cleanup relief I would never had known of this town nor would I have realized that I have driven by this town on the interstate highway that bypasses it. I googled the town before driving the three hours to get to it and the first picture that came up was an aerial view of the town right after the wrath of Florence. It seemed as if the whole town was four feet under water because the image showed a residential neighborhood that was completely surrounded by water with the cars parked in front of the homes having water up over their hoods and trunks. Just looking at this image made my heart sink as I wondered how they possibly were able to escape with all those cars still parked alongside the road. I hoped they were all able to get out.
These thoughts that I share from time to time are therapeutic in a way, well at least for me they are. You see, sometimes a thought comes to mind and it embeds itself there and festers. It will grow stronger the longer it is there and it will try to distract me and even influence me. Don’t under-estimate the power of the mind because these thoughts can make you depressed for no apparent reason. They can make you easily irritated at even the stupidest things. Our thoughts can lead to so many problems and cause real harm if they are not reasoned with. They can drive us to drink and at times make us want to drive off something entirely. These thoughts are not all bad, dark, or gloomy; there are moments of joy, fond memories, and happy thoughts. There are also thoughts of encouragement and thoughts that try to solve problems. There are those “aha” moments and those “what are you thinking” moments. Continue reading
Many years ago, when I lived in Vermont, we were hit by a pretty bad ice storm. It’s not out of the ordinary to get hit by a small ice storm here and there during the frigid winters but this one was one of the harder hitting ones. One of the immediate dangers of ice storms would be the obvious icing of the roads. There is ice everywhere! Everything that could have gotten wet would be imprisoned by thick layers of ice and as it continues to rain this ice just builds stronger and thicker. It truly is an eerie experience to walk out into the dark and stand outside and just look at all the glistening ice and listen to the ice crack and grow. The roadways are too dangerous to travel and the power lines and tree limbs are weighted down causing power outages and darkness. When you stand outside in such darkness and listen it seems as if the ice is moving and at times closing in on you. Continue reading
There are these times when we are say, walking down a particular road going into a particular place in mind. We are determined and as we walk we may hum, sing, and even talk to ourselves just to keep the time from pressing down upon us. Our thoughts become more vivid and that which haunts us and taunts us become closer in our solitude. We have a destination and we have the desire to reach that at all cost whether it be fighting the loneliness or the thirst, or even our weakening knees and aching feet. Along our journey several challenges cross our path and those must be overcome in order to continue forward. Such challenges are to be expected and some are easily met. We can endure the heat as the sun hangs high above us and even create a makeshift shade with a newspaper found alongside the road. We can slowly avoid the rattling warning of a viper waiting for us to close in so it can strike and fill our veins with poison. Most importantly; we can keep moving so that the buzzards circling above and the scavengers lurking around do not mistake us for dead and tear bits and pieces of us as we rest. Continue reading
I am not certain I portrayed my thoughts exactly as I felt them in my last posting, and that certainly happens more often than not. These things we think sometimes fade in and out and become blurred with other thoughts. Sometimes they are like dreams while your awake and it is said that you should have a note book next to your bed so you can record your dreams before you are too awake to remember them. These thoughts are very similar except I think about them often and feel prompted to put them here. If I wait too long or if the thought isn’t all that strong I begin thinking about something else. Sometimes I have a story to tell and someone or something will happen that affects me emotionally or spiritually to where it changes the story completely. This frustrates me because I can sense that the original story was worthwhile yet the effects of life caused it to be erased forever. This is particularly why I try not to create stories and convince myself to share while the thinking is strong. Sharing thoughts while they’re the most vivid almost feels as if it is being channeled directly to this page. Making up a story demands too much creativity and a form of schizophrenia where the author must create a different personality for all the characters within the story he is trying to create. I am certainly not that talented nor do I have that much time to spare. What you will find here are simple and complicated thoughts and my impression on them. They are not absolutely correct nor are they wrong. It is just my perception at the time of thinking. Continue reading
I have always had a desire to learn a second language, I don’t really care what; I just want to be able to understand what sounds foreign to me. I never had the opportunity to take French or Spanish in high school, I feel it was more due to my behavior and lack of control than any academic reasoning. I thought it was cool when characters on the television or in movies would suddenly switch from one language to another, especially when they would start speaking some harsh Italian in what seemed to be hyper speed when they were angry. It wasn’t long ago that I attempted to learn Portuguese on my own through self-help CDs. I really thought I had it, at least right up to the point when I tried to have a conversation with a Brazilian. I was so discouraged to learn that after all those hours spent listening to those CDs and practicing over and over again that I really didn’t know anything that was being said.
I was born here in America and so were both of my parents, and their parents. The English language was introduced to me before I was even born and that is what I was taught to understand and at one point I felt that everyone in the world understood the English language. Every single thing I have learned has been taught to me in English and it is that English language that makes it so confusing to learn to speak any other language. It amazes me to see how fluent people from other countries are in their language and how they can’t understand what I am trying to say. There is certainly a language barrier that separates us and makes it seem that because we speak different words that we are a completely different species or alien of some sorts. Continue reading
Are you really lost? Do you really not know where you are going? If so stop wandering in the direction that you are heading in. What’s the point of feeling lost or without direction and continuing down that same path. If you cannot see what is ahead of you and feel too ashamed to look behind you then maybe you need to think about a different road. Just maybe if you are not able to see where you are it is because you are being blinded by that which imprisons you there. Sometimes when you feel as if you are walking in circles you just need to try harder to walk straight when the forces around you are trying to make you turn in the same direction as before. You need to break out of that circle and break away from the delusion that fills you with deception and gives birth to this feeling of being lost and without direction. Continue reading